all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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