cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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