Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
