I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
