Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
