dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
