We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
be right there i have to get my cape
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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