There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize