then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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