I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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