I'm gonna have a badass scar
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
