I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We need to rekindle our bromance
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
