What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
