Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
