i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
