but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
