Buhtt sex?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
