Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
