Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
