I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
