Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
