I want to stick my p in your. b.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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