I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
