what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
