just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
