i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
