I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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