so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
