I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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