Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
