she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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