I think I died a long time ago.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My ass is underappreciated
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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