Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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