it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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