did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
