did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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