a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
