my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
