I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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