I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
