He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
