Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize