just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
