And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
