Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
