For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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