mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
