my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
