Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
