My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
