Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
