Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
