if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We have started to decorate penises.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
