does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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