all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
