i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
