you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
