My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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