If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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