You really coming over, don't trick.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize