well you can't waste a boner
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You are a genius and a whore.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
