is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Oh god it's open bar.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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