I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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