My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
PANTIES FOUND
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
