She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
